Ten Reasons why you should not drink

I find myself staring into the mirror this morning, analysing my appearance and physical condition. I look pretty good, tired and saggy round the eyes, but good nonetheless. I find myself thinking about why I don’t drink anymore, but also trying to really understand why I did for so long without ever really questioning my motivation

Here are my ten top reasons why you should stop drinking

1. The last time you got drunk you reverted to the habits of a spastic six year old and threatened and abused your partner
2. When you drink you find it funny to throw your friends things out of hotel windows and accuse them of being the opposite of who they are, just to see how they react
3. You suffer blackouts which, when your friends fill you in, you say “fuckin hell, did I? I don’t remember that…are you serious?”
4. When you drink your friends end up in hospital, with or without you
5. When you drink you kick or punch people, be it your friends or otherwise, for reasons you cannot conceive of when sober
6. When you drink you wake up in bushes, on rocks, floors, stairwells or parks – pretty much anywhere except for your bed
7. You drink alone before meeting up with other people, just so you can have an edge
8. You are losing friends and jobs
9. You can’t remember the last sober month you had
10. You spend time sifting through your own vomit for your false tooth, then realise you have swallowed it and spend four days sifting through your faeces to find it

This last one is a big persuader to refrain from drinking –

I have been to the Alcoholics Anonymous site and read their reasons why you should stop and their twelve steps process. Personally I don’t think that they have it nailed at all, but I do credit them with having an ability to reach out and help people who need it. I’m pretty sure that most people I know would be considered alcoholics under their ten questions.

I propose a more extreme type of analysis. Everybody gets wasted and makes mistakes. Lots of people do it over and over, but alcohol is not necessarily ruining their lives.

The only time it is a problem in my estimation is if it is a problem! That may sound ridiculous but I want you to ask yourself that question –

IS ALCOHOL CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE AND MAKING LIFE A BITCH?

If the answer is yes then you need help. I can help you and so can others

If the answer is no, then enjoy your booze and wild nights. I am deeply envious, but it is a lifestyle I can no longer maintain.

I will soon tell you how to give up drinking and will tell you stories of my drunken past and sober present.