30 things which indicate you may have a drink or drug problem

1. You go for 4 years straight without more than a 2 day break from drinking or doing drugs

2. You drunkenly fall onto a pint glass which breaks three inches deep into your back missing your spine and kidneys by millimeters

3. You drink drive for 5 months with no helmet on a moped around the most dangerous island in Greece

4. You try to take on 8 guys who have just glassed you and stabbed you in the neck outside a pub in Dublin before running for your life

5. You break your brothers nose after he gets in the way of you trying to hit a guy outside a disco

6. You projectile vomit Southern Comfort all over your friends parents brand new couch

7. You begin to hide your house keys in the garden because you keep losing them when you go out

8. You wake up on your own in hospital with a big bandage round your head, with no recollection how you got there

9. You are always the one who is still going when everyone else has passed out

10. You fall asleep on the night link home, get waken up when the bus returns to the city centre. You pass out on the next bus too and wake up in

the bus depot ensuring you have to get a very expensive taxi home

11. At 9am on the morning after your sister’s wedding, still up from drinking, you repeatedly throw sugar cubes 50 feet across a room at your 60

and 70 year old Aunties and Uncles

12. You always seem to be poor as you spend all your dollar getting wasted at the weekends

13. You don’t consider drinking wine to be really drinking alcohol

14. You miss on average of one day a week for over a year from your job in the bank due to ringing in sick, all of which happen due to drink and


15. You become increasingly paranoid when you are sober or coming down. Getting drunk or high is the only state that lets you feel good

16. You wake up beside ugly and overweight older women, not remembering their names or how you got to be in their homes

17. You leave Las Vegas hitch hiking on your own after drinking and drugging all night with no money, no phone, no water, no address and no

idea where you are going

18. You enjoy being thought of as an asshole

19. You attack your friends for reasons you cannot remember and blame them for reacting to you

20. You gamble your bank account and lose in a drunken haze in the casino

21. You have tried heroin on more than one occasion

22. If you don’t feel the effects of the first pill you drop, you double drop two more, creating a triple drop effect which causes severe rushes and


23. Your friends end up in hospital after nights out with you

24. You feel nothing in life other than when you drink and do drugs

25. The random mayhem of binging on drink and drugs is where you think you are truly happy

26. You become insanely paranoid and begin hearing voices in your head telling you that your best friends are not to be trusted anymore

27. You develop headaches as soon as you begin drinking a pint and it doesn’t go until you have drunk 3 or 4

28. You never have just one or two. You always want more. This is something which happens over and over and over again

29. Your close friends have pulled you aside on more than one occasion to ask you if you need help.

30. You fantasize about becoming a drunken hobo.

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