This is a blog for all you men over the age of thirty and even some of you a little under. And this is a blog for all you women out there, of all ages. It is a blog about being a creep. Are you one and if so, can you do anything about it? And how do you know if you’re a creep or not?
The chances are that you will never have sat down and thought long and hard about this. Most creeps wouldn’t waste their time. But let me clear up the necessities required to be a creep.
- You are male.
- You are over 30 years old.
- You are younger than 70 years old.
- You speak with a girl in the 17-21 age range.
I heard this list from American comedian Dwayne Perkins last night. He does a great piece about men being allowed to grab random women’s breasts until they are 3, then run under women’s skirts until they are 6 and then cruise through puberty as a goofy mess. In his twenties a man is in his prime and allowed to be whom he wants. But once you hit the 30’s, you are in creep territory until you hit your seventies…when you become a dirty old man. And there is nothing you can do about it!
He gave an example of a 30 something man approaching an 18 year old girl to ask her the time.
“Excuse me, do you have the time, my watch is broken?” asks the man.
What the girl hears though, is some very heavy breathing and a deep sleazy voice
“Hey there girl, why don’t come with me into that white van over there?”
Funnily enough I laughed very hard at this…the reason being that over the last couple of weeks I have offered a girl in work a lift home from the city to where I live, maybe 25 minutes north. She is 19 and lives close by. She is a waitress and I would appreciate the relative dangers out there for a young girl getting home late form the city. I have only been working there a few weeks and had been cycling in. But as the nights get colder and shorter I have taken the car.
The first night I mentioned casually to the girl…
“Hey, I’m driving home tonight if you want a lift”
She smiled and said thank you. Next thing I knew she was leaving the bar where we work, thanking me for the offer, but that she was going home early and could get a taxi. I didn’t think much of it.
A few nights later we had all finished our shifts and were sitting around at 3 in the morning. Again I said to her that I was driving out if she wanted a lift. She looked a little nervous, smiled and said she was OK…that she would have a pint and take a late night bus home. Again I thought nothing of it.
That is until I heard Dwayne Perkins’ set.
It hit me like a salmon in the face on a January morning – She thinks I’m a creep! Here is this mid thirties slime ball with a long greasy pony tail offering her a lift home. While I hear the simple offer I offer, she hears a completely different set of words. She hears the heavy breathing and the throaty Silence of the Lambs voice…CREEP!
It got me thinking about perception and categorising your image of someone else. We do it all the time. We do it with all kinds of people and it is unjust and unfair. So spare a thought next time for the person you label. In the words of Bob Marley “While you are busy judging, others are judging you”.
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4 thoughts on “Could you be a creep and not even know it?”
Haha – except… does this mean I am Mrs Creep?
Yes you is….huuuuh huuuuuh *deep breathing voice*
where are you these days Mr Sober Paddy?
in Dublin’s Fair City Chef…would be good to meet up with you and Johnny Horgan someday soon