I have a pain in my ring. I suppose it could be construed as frustration. I am out of sorts and I can’t really put my finger on it. Well, that’s a bit of a porkie pie, I am angry at a few things. In the past at this stage I would be in the boozer telling all and sundry what I felt. But I won’t give myself the chance to get pissed. So I just try to deal with things as best I can and move on. So what’s eating the Sober Paddy?
The first is very sad news. Ozzy dog died today. He passed away after a short fiery battle with ill health. I first came to Australia in 1999. It was then my travel buddy Fran Daly took it upon himself to get Ozzy the dog. He was a lovely golden Labrador, the friendliest, cutest dog you have ever seen. He has been in my life for over ten years. We have lived together for many of those, in Ireland and here in OZ. He was loyal and loving and had amazing instincts. I spent many great times walking, running and swimming with him. He will be sorely missed. My thoughts go out to his master and his wife.
I’m not sure what sort of a blog this is going to be.
The second one is trite but true. My golf game is absolutely wretched. I swing the club like a shot putter on ketamine. There is more fluidity in a car crash. The best part of my game is when I hurl the club into the bushes. It is driving me nuts (no pun intended). I have been embarrassing myself the last few times I’ve been out and it just gets worse. It is meant to be a relaxing event, a time of serenity and skill. But alas it is a pile of schuttery dog shite. I am used to improving rapidly when I play games, but with golf there is no justice for brawn and aggression. It is a humbling, merciless mistress and it likes to punish.
If I still drank I would be so drunk right now.
The third thing is flipping poker. It is melting me. I am running so bad that I make the Pakistanis look like a nation of fortunates. I am constantly getting my money into the middle with the best hand and being outdrawn. It is happening over and over again and I just don’t think I can take much more. I think I’m just going to have to give it a rest or I will end up with claret fluid seeping from my ears and a laptop smashed into them little smithereens. Like last night I was playing a tournament and had gotten down to the last 300 or so out of 1200. I had played very, very few hands and every time I was called I had trips or better. I was playing very tight, solid poker and was hitting hands. So when I look down and see AA, in mid position and there is a raiser in first position I think, rerasie him All In and just take it down. But he decides to call my All In with 88 and of course he hits an 8 to give him a set and knocks me out. It was shocking bad play and seems to be that I keep running up against lucky morons. I’m just an unlucky moron.
Interesting ha? Pass me the Jameson.
The final thing I’m gonna vent about is the state of the financial world. Do you realise that the central banks of the world are all privately owned companies that lend money to our governments? They do this and of course charge interest. Most countries on our little planet are being run by the banks, not the governments. Does this not scare people?? We are paying extortionate taxes to give private companies wealth. It is the biggest ruse ever. The common person is the most ignorant fucker out there. The politicians are all in co hoots as they are being paid off. The mainstream media are all owned by off shoots of the same mother companies. WE ARE ALL BEING RIPPED OFF AND CONTROLLED LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. If you do nothing else over the next week or so take a look at the following www.zeitgeistmovie.com and especially www.chrismartenson.com. The world is fucked up and we are pig ignorant of what is going on up above. I mean, did you know that the Federal Reserve Bank of America is actually owned by the Bank of England? It is so absurd and incredible that you may think it all to be untrue. But there is a serious problem in our world today.
Are you ready to be part of the revolution? Part of the solution?
Get me some top shelf brandy. Seriously.
I swear to you that it is taking the utmost not to go on the razz right now. I really feel like drinking straight top shelf spirits. But where would it get me? Crying like a bitch into my drink at six in the morning, remorseful and repentant and vowing to make changes, yet forgetting everything I’d have said. Fuck the gargle, fuck the banks, fuck death.