I spend the days like this – In torpor. Torpor is when your brain is glue, your words are mud, your legs feel like slushy plop and your emotions are a bag of second hand sandals. I feel like a mango that has been smuggled down the top of an octogenarian slut, who has no chicken fillets left to fill her off-white brassier. I might as well play bingo in a hall, on my own, with a packet of monster munch for the nibbles.
I have no interest in this blog. How can I expect anyone else to care when I don’t? I get all buzzed when I see a few comments and I send a few mails and get figuring all sorts of plans and then whallop…I get a dose of the online clap and would rather sniff varieties of human odours than do any writing or blogging. Weeks pass. What is this mundanity that consumes me?
I just removed Pokerstars from my computer. I am sick to death of just missing out on big pay days. I am nauseous to me gullet of spewing expletives as some Russian online pro hits his flush on the river to knock me out. When I have kings they have aces. When I hit two pair they have trips. The last week has seen me so close to 4 and 5 figure pay days. Close though, is about as much use as a sledge hammer to the back of the cranium.
I can’t stand this arsing around that I am doing. Is anyone else sick of doing fuck all? I am reading about all these inspirational leaders who took on the might of Imperial America like Omar Torrijos of Panama and Jaime Roldós of Ecuador who fought for the freedom of their people. They were targets of the major oil companies and the CIA when they were in their 30’s. And here I am playing a car parking game on my iPhone to while the hours away.
I feel sick at the pathetic bag of balls I’m crapping up here. These men I mentioned above were assassinated for going against the grain. They stood for principles. They believed in ideals. They led and inspired millions. I stand for not drinking and that’s about it. There is more backbone in a bowl of porridge. I am so depraved with trawling facebook and other people’s photo’s. I am quite demented right now.
It’s kinda like that scene in Zoolander when the zany fashion mogul starts saying – “Hansel’s so hot right now” about Owen Wilson’s character. Except that it’s “Sober Paddy’s so shot right now”. Give me a break. The world is on the precipice of economic meltdown and the imposition of a totalitarian police state in the former US of A and all I can think of is “Will I eat a plum or a nectarine?” My brain is fudge right now.
I miss the old America. Do you remember growing up thinking how great it would be to live there? I sure did. But they have turned it from a bastion of Freedom and the dream of dreams, to an crumbling empire of repression. The money men are gobbling their pound of flesh. There will be monstrous scenes in the next 12 months as the greatest recession ever known kicks in in downtown Kansas City and San Fran. I wish it was not so.
I feel a little better after that. In fact I feel a lot better. I probably should get the wife to read this before posting. She might advise me to change a bit of it. But what kind of a naff, milky tea sipping, pirate cuddler would that make me? This blog is going up as is. Plain and simple. I have about as much patience as a junkie on dole day.
I have no idea what I am writing about. I just need to vent. I could be sending positive vibes to the ancient spirits and summonsing the wise words of ancient tribes right now. Instead though, I am going to go back to facebook and see if someone has posted something funny. What kind of a weird world do we live in? I hope you realise we are a pathetic society.
Billions in poverty. More wars than you can shake a magic wand at. Pollution from the high to the low heavens. And all of us are worried about getting somewhere on time, or some football team to win or to dance with $$$ in our pockets. Get off the stage people. Smack yourself in the head and get with it. One thing and one thing only I want you to remember from this pile of diatribe – Think for yourself.