Stories

The World According to Beer

I think it is only fair to speak on behalf of everyone who has ever had a problem with giving up the drink. It is my right. I will use this right.

People have this commonly held conception that you are responsible for your actions. Of course you are!! Otherwise you could be controlled from afar and manipulated into doing things for others without ever knowing. You could be coerced into buying things you never wanted but suddenly own three different colours of. If we did not have control over ourselves, we could find ourselves believing everything the politicians and oil companies tell us, living a life of ease and comfort.

Read more

Does Alcohol Help Your Sex Life?

I’ve spoken to quite a few people about this and am trying to get to the bottom of the facts (no pun intended). Does being boozy turn you into a floozie? I talked last week about whether getting into bed with women was helped by a man’s consumption of alcohol.
I will conclude that with the following equation

Read more

Are women easier when you’re drunk?

This is the first in a series of stories and thoughts on the relationship between alcohol and sex. Let’s face it – most of us would still be single, at home, fiddling with ourselves if it weren’t for the wondrous ability of alcohol to encourage cheekiness, confidence and looseness. It has been the oil with which most couples begin the story of their romance or indeed, been the precursor to many’s the one night stand. Whichever way you want to look at it, alcohol has helped begin and break a lot of unions. This is a guy’s perspective on how and why. And when I say a guy, I mean the Sober Paddy’s.

Read more

What about the pub?

Now, if you have come to this website and are trying to give up drinking, one of the first pieces of advice I would have for you is DON’T GO TO THE PUB.

If you have decided that you want to cut down, reduce or eliminate your alcohol intake, then the simple first step is this – NO PUB

It seems simple. I know lots of people like me who think they need to change their alcohol habits, but who don’t believe they are alcoholics. My life gets messy with drinking, mistakes are made and I always regret things afterwards. I also get unfit and lazy. But, I don’t believe I am an alcoholic. Not in the terms the AA would have you believe.

Read more

Jimmy Bradshaw

Jimmy Bradshaw gets up at seven every morning. He has done for the last fifty eight years, ever since he was fifteen. He was told that only the sick and the dying stay in bed after seven. He takes his time in the bathroom, carefully cleaning his dentures, tooth by tooth, then deck by deck, using an old toothbrush to grind the yellow crusty gunk that has collected from his previous days eatings. He is in no rush. No rush for young Jimmy.

Read more